TANK'S TWO CENTS

Saturday Smile

2012-01-28T11:41:00.003-06:00

A I D E N
Hey dawgs... Tank here. The following picture shows the cutest birthday girl ever! Her name is Aiden and she just recently turned 8 years old. She lives in Raleigh, NC with her mom and dad and little brother (her mom is my Asst.'s niece.) Guess what she did to celebrate her birthday? Sure... she had a pawty, but what else? Give up? Okay, I'll tell you. INSTEAD of having her pawty guests bring her birthday gifts, she asked them to bring something for the local animal shelter Wake County Animal Center. She collected tons of loot for the homeless doggies and kitties plus $70.00!!!

Here she is at the shelter and just look at all the great stuff she dropped off!

The staff even did a shout-out to her on the shelter's facebook page...
https://www.facebook.com/wakegovpets
♥Happy Birthday Aiden♥
Congratulations on turning eight and four paws up for helping your furry friends at the animal shelter!

The Ruffington Post

2012-01-25T09:32:00.001-06:00

State of the Union

'THE DEFINING ISSUE OF OUR TIME'

squirrel debauchery

I'm sure many of you have seen this video. It depicts a very disturbing trend. Yes, dawgs... squirrels are taking over the entertainment industry.

Warn your people that the current President has NO plan to deal with this crisis. In fact, he didn't even mention it in last nights State of the Union address. We must start a grass roots effort to make people aware of this serious problem and help elect a President who will effect change.

The End?

2012-01-17T12:12:00.000-06:00

This might be my last post dawgs. I'm on an airplane. This is my first time ever on a plane and between you and me, I was a little nervous getting on this flying contraption... so nervous that I started peeing. First I peed on the door, then the seats, then the other passengers (sorry Corbin) and then I saw IT. The thing's eyes glowed red. IT was staring at me so intently that if I'd had any pee left, I'd have left a puddle right there in front of IT. So taken aback with fear and loathing of this hideous creature, I no longer felt any qualms about flying until I overheard some dawg say that Mango was in the pilot's seat. WHAT?!!! OMD

I'M GONNA DIE

I'M GONNA DIE

OMD

I'M GONNA DIE!

Frozen with horror and disgust, I just wish that Goose and I had catnapped this evil beast called Allred and sent him back to his fire and brimstone birthplace. But even more important, I wish I hadn't gotten on this doomed flying machine!

I'm afraid my fate has been sealed dawgs. It's been nice knowing you...
woof

happier times...
when all I wanted was to be a bad sport

Need answer ASAP

2012-01-15T23:16:00.000-06:00

How long could something furry with 4 legs and a bad disposition live in a shoe box with a rock on top of it?

Mango Minster Scandal

2012-01-11T13:11:00.001-06:00

TO: Mango Minster Management

CC: Mango Minster Ethics Committee

RE: Formal Complaint

I respectfully request that the "Bad Sport" entrant named Allred the Cat be disqualified from Mango Minster 2012.

I have submitted photo evidence that this cat is not really a cat at all, but the Antichrist in disguise. Please look closely at his right ear and you will see he bears the mark of the beast. Surely you do not want this impostor to sully what has been a respected and honest alternative to that other dog show.

I encourage being a bad sport and, in fact, try to be an ambassadog for this group, but I must put my paw down when one of my competitors is proven to be disingenuous i.e. the spawn of Satan. Along with my fellow contestants, I await your decision.

Sincerely yours,

Tank
(not wanting devil cooties)

Heard at the Dog Park...

2012-01-10T11:00:00.000-06:00

"Hey! It's TANK! He's on the cover of a magazine!"

"Tank, I want to be hawt like you... can you teach me?"

"Uh oh, I smell Canadians..."

"Are you sure this is where you buried it?"

"Psst... Tank, I saw your nude centerfold. It was totally hawt!"

The Facts

2012-01-06T17:07:00.003-06:00

There's a certain dawg who has been spreading lies about me in an attempt to better his chances at winning Mango Minster (hah! like that'll ever happen!) I'm going to set the record straight today once and for all.

I do not like squirrels. I do not associate with squirrels. I don't have any squirrels in my family nor do I have even the tiniest bit of squirrel in my DNA.
I am 100% squirrel-free!

HE on the other hand has been a known squirrel sympathizer and, in fact, has been seen cavorting with said rodents on stage and elsewhere.

HE LOVES SQUIRRELS!

HE EVEN HAS HIS OWN BAND MADE UP OF SQUIRRELS!!!

Listen closely... they even sing about squirrels.

Is this the kind of dawg that should win top prize (or any prize) at the most prestigious dog show on earth??? Eh?

HECK NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thanks to Ann of Zoolaltry for Squirrelies photo!

My purpose...

2012-01-05T11:13:00.001-06:00

You'll probably find this surprising dawgs, but I've only read one book in my life. I find it almost impossible to turn the pages, so mostly I read your blogs and other stuff on the internet. The one book I did read (I begged my asst. to help with the pages) was Jack's book... Jack: A book about a dog where the dog doesn't die in the end. It was an excellent book and I liked reading it. I was also really glad that Jack didn't die in the end (by the way, you can find a link to buy a copy of it at his blog Daily Dose of Jack.)

My asst. however, has read many books. Sometimes, late at night, she'll have her nose buried in a book while I nap on a cushion at her feet. I can usually tell when she's enjoying a book because she stays up much later. I'm totally flummoxed by her behavior lately though.

This is what she's been reading. It was laying on her bedside table for a long time, but she just recently decided to read it. I've heard her tell the old guy that it's a good book... really good, in fact. What I don't understand is why she keeps blubbering like a baby every so often. This is getting really annoying. Seriously, she just has a total meltdown every few chapters, but continues to read it.

(SPOILER ALERT!)

After yet another one of these crying jags in the wee hours of the morning, I heard her tell the old guy that "the damn dog died again." My ears perked up... "again?" I'm sure you can imagine how unsettling this was to hear right before I turned in for the night. How can she even think this is a good book and continue reading it if there's a poor schmuck who keeps dying over and over again? And, I had to wonder if I'm going to suffer the same fate... will I have to endure multiple death scenes and cause all sorts of anguish for the people who feed me or have I already found my purpose? I've been thinking a lot about this and I'm pretty sure I've figured it out.

My purpose is to be the baddest sport ever and win Mango Minster Best In Show 2012.

Yes, I'm convinced this is my destiny.

PeeS: Mango dude... you don't want to mess with destiny. Go ahead with the show, but heads will roll if I don't win it all. I'm a really bad sport.

Mango Minster 2012

2012-01-02T12:26:00.006-06:00

BAD SPORTS CATEGORY

This is Canada

I declared war on Canada because I was bored.

➤➤➤TOP THAT DEVIL CAT

Typical Canadian doggie thugs

Yes, I went to war with Canada mainly to amuse myself, but you may not know that Canada is full of very aggressive doggies who envy us doggies in the USA. They live in cold and darkness year round which makes them very mean. I felt it was my patriotic duty to put a stop to their taunting and threats. With some help from a couple of doodles in Utah (who are always up for a new adventure) the Canadian doggies and their Mounties became lost and confused for many days until they surrendered... embarrassed and ashamed. They are rarely heard from anymore.

God Bless the USA

Don't mess with us.

The old guy comes through...

2012-01-01T13:47:00.002-06:00

WELCOME TO 2012

I was hoping this would be the year that my assistant finally got her act together. Naive as it sounds, I've clung to the unlikely scenario that she would wake up in the new year full of motivation to become good at her job, but it's already looking doubtful... oh, who am I kidding? It's never going to happen. She's been laying around for days claiming to be "under the weather."

I took this picture of her yesterday.

She's looked like this for about 4 days now.

She seems to have forgotten that she has responsibilities...

the most important one being ME!

I haven't been able to get her to do ANYthing, but, lucky for me, the old guy has been around to tend to my needs. He knows where the kibble is stored and has been putting some in my bowl on a fairly regular basis... I surely would have starved to death if not for him. He's taken me for walks and gives me a treat afterwards. He's even figured out how to give me eye drops (bribery.) I shudder to think of what would have happened to me if he hadn't been around.

While the old guy doesn't care one bit about being referred to as "old," I don't dare say that about my asst. (puhleese, I'm not stupid.) So even though she's in ~~denial~~ not old, she thought some of your people might be at an age to enjoy the following rant sent to her by a friend (author unknown.)

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Remember: Don't make old people mad.

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

#####

HAPPY

NEW

YEAR

PeeS - I was beginning to think nobody loved me:( then remembered I had turned the comments off. BOL

Huh?

2011-12-24T09:03:00.001-06:00

A big fat guy in a red suit? You're kidding, right?

whatever...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY BLOGGING PALS

Thinking BIG

2011-12-20T12:01:00.000-06:00

I've been trying to think of something I could do for the Pittie Pack and it occurred to me that it might be nice for them to have all the caring thoughts, sincere prayers and good wishes from everyone packed up nicely in a box to keep as a reminder that they have many friends who love and support them. I've run into a problem though. I can't find a box even close to being big enough...

I thought this one would work, but it's stuffed full...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Don't Say We Didn't Warn You

2011-12-16T09:06:00.000-06:00

An Open Letter to the People Who Feed Mr. Pip

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Scrooge,

You have deprived Mr. Pip of a comfortable couch to rest his furry old body on for long enough. He's given you the best years of his life and deserves to be treated well in his golden years. I heard from a reliable source that one of you is reluctant to buy a couch "on a whim." Hey! This is America. Americans are supposed to buy things on a whim. In fact, I'm pretty sure you could be arrested for NOT buying something on a whim this close to Christmas! Seriously, how do you even sleep at night?! Your failure to provide a suitable place for Mr. Pip to nap has incited dogs from all over the world to stage a protest on his behalf. We will continue to OCCUPY OUR COUCHES until a furniture delivery truck arrives at your door with a brand new, expensive, high quality, super soft and comfortable couch in a color and pattern that flatters Mr. Pip's fur. Go buy it for the little guy this weekend and we'll pretend this never happened. However, if our beloved Mr. Pip is still on the floor this time next week, we've got Santa's reindeer standing by for special instructions when they land on the roof of your new house on Christmas eve (who knew reindeer could be so vindictive?)

Sincerely yours,
Couch Occupiers

"Failure is not an option."

(from the movie "Apollo 13")

25 Days of Christmas

2011-12-06T11:17:00.000-06:00

You could win $100 for your favorite animal charity!

All you have to do is click on the above picture and leave a comment on

Miss Kylie's 25 Days of Christmas...

(do it every day for a better chance at winning.)

It's that easy, so what are you waiting for?

You might also win a great prize for yourself!

Santa said "Be a good doggy (or kitty) and support Kylie's efforts to make Christmas a little merrier for some homeless pets!"

He really said that dawgs. He also said he'd be mighty disappointed in any dog or kitty who didn't participate. I don't think it's in our best interests to disappoint Santa.

Do you????

In other news, I'm still occupying my couch for Mr. Pip.

This is totally exhausting work, but I believe in Pip's God- given, inalienable and irrefutable right to a comfy couch.

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of dogs."
(Abraham Lincoln's dog)

Pete

2011-11-30T10:22:00.002-06:00

Dear Dawgs,
Help me out here furiends. Does anyone know a guy named Pete? My assistant seems to be very fond of him. I hear her saying "For the love of Pete" frequently during our walks. You see, I always have lots of pee mail to leave around the neighborhood and whenever I lift my leg, she once again feels the need to express her love for Pete. I must say, however, that her tone of voice becomes more and more agitated each time she says it. By the time we round the last curve and I pull her over to the final fire hydrant on our route, she sounds downright nasty and I'm not sure if she still loves Pete or not. This has me totally baffled. Could Pete be an imaginary friend who accompanies us on our walks? Does he step on her toes or annoy her in some other way while we're walking so that she becomes irritated with him?

What, exactly, could her problem be???

To all you turkeys...

2011-11-23T12:36:00.000-06:00

Just a reminder dawgs...

squirrel control needs to remain a top priority

even during the holidays!

Is Your Dog Spending Too Much Time on the Internet?

My Assistant and I hope you all have a very

Happy Thanksgiving!

A little worked up...

2011-11-14T00:04:00.001-06:00

Dear Furiends,

I need your HELP! My favorite place in the whole world has been invaded by aliens. They are everywhere I turn. This once proud forest has been defiled by hideous and grotesque creatures from some other world. I've barked at them. I've peed on them. I think they're just waiting for a chance to grab a cute little dog (yikes!) and offer it up in some sort of satanic ritual. I haven't found their mothership yet, but it has to be hidden in the woods somewhere.

I suspect one of these might be their leader.

OMG. I should slow down and start at the beginning. The OP Arboretum is my little piece of heaven here on earth. Well, not just mine. All dogs love the Arboretum because there are lots of trails through the woods and it's a great place to take a long walk. It's a magical place all year round full of squirrels, deer, birds... you get the picture. Well, some idiots in the city government decided to allow the aliens to set up camp and we are fighting mad about it. My assistant has even started a petition to try to get rid of them. PLEASE sign the petition... it doesn't matter if you don't live here. The Arboretum has visitors from all over.

My beautiful arboretum

before the aliens arrived.

Do you see why we're upset??? PLEASE click on the following link and sign our petition...

aliens-go-home

I need to go take a nap now. Fighting city government wears me out. Thanks for listening to my rant.

RESCUE ME!

2011-11-11T06:55:00.000-06:00

I'm Murphy and I need a family to love me...
Won't you please rescue me?
I decided to feature Murphy on this last day of Mayzie's wonderful "Rescue Me" week. You see Murphy is a Lhasa Apso mix so he's kinda like me. He's only 2 yrs old though and has lots of energy. He loves long walks and toys and get this... he's very "treat oriented." Duh. Are there dogs out there who are not treat oriented??? BOL
Murphy can be adopted at the

Heartland SPCA

♡Thank you Mayzie and Mom♡
and

Grampa J

RESCUE ME!

2011-11-10T08:11:00.002-06:00

M E O W
Time for some kitties to get the spotlight...

My name is Bob and I'm 2 yrs. old.

Got mice? I'm your guy! Just ask for Socks.

Frankie

Karma
Frankie and Karma were adopted together 5 yrs. ago, but have had a rough time. Their mom was in an abusive relationship and they were abused as well, so now they're back at the shelter hoping someone will give them a 2nd chance. They are timid at first, but all you have to do is pet them and they will gratefully purr in return.
Won't you please rescue us?

Bob, Socks, Frankie and Karma are all available to adopt at the
Heartland SPCA
along with lots of other kitties who need homes.

RESCUE ME!

2011-11-09T00:28:00.000-06:00

My name is Fletcher.

If you would take me home with you, I would be your best friend. We could play in the park, take walks and watch movies together. How about it???
Won't you please rescue me?

Fletcher is a 6 mo. old male Foxhound Mix
He can be adopted at the
Heartland SPCA

RESCUE ME!

2011-11-08T08:03:00.001-06:00

They call me Fern.

Somehow I ended up homeless and wandering the streets all by myself. I was eventually picked up and now I'm in a doggy shelter called Heartland SPCA. I heard someone say that I'm too old and will never find a new home.
Won't you please rescue me?
Fern is an 8 yr. old female shepherd mix.
If you live in the Kansas City area and have been thinking about adopting a dog, Fern would like the opportunity to meet with you. She'll show you why giving an older dog a home might just be the best thing you'll ever do!

RESCUE ME!

2011-11-07T07:25:00.000-06:00

My name is Aubrey.

I don't know what happened, but I ended up in a doggy shelter. They're keeping me behind bars most of the time even though I keep barking at them that I've committed no crime. I miss my family and don't understand why they haven't come to get me. I overheard one of the guards say that I've been here for three months... it seems longer. I'm being treated okay, but I really want to go home. Please stop by and visit me. Maybe you'll like me enough to take me home. I would be a good dog. I promise.

Won't you please rescue me?

Aubrey is a female Shepherd/Labrador

Retriever about two years old.

She would prefer a home with no other dogs.

Please contact the

Heartland SPCA

Treats

2011-10-29T09:38:00.000-05:00

I found a dead mouse outside yesterday. I had it in my mouth and was just about to bite down when the Old Guy started yelling and making such a fuss that I accidently dropped it. Then darned if he didn't yank on my leash so I couldn't pick it up again. I barked at him to let me have it, but he kept shouting "NO!" Between you and me, I think he wanted the mouse for himself.

Then I remembered that my assistant had just gotten me a new supply of sweet potato snax so at least I've got those to munch on... Happy Halloween to me!

We'll be giving the dogs at the Heartland SPCA some treats too along with some blankets and toys. Thanks to Jack and Moo over at Cybersibes for reminding us that shelter dogs only have the basics... anything extra comes from donations.

A Nod to Great Literature

2011-10-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

"That which we call a rose

by any other name would smell as sweet."

Shakespeare

"That which we call a dog

by any other name would smell my butt."
Tank

Ya Who?

2011-10-21T10:35:00.000-05:00

My asst. has been submitting stories to the

Yahoo Contributor Network.

When one is accepted, she gets an e-mail that says...

"Your content has been published."

This seems to give her a bit of a rush, kind of like I get when I find a grasshopper. But let's face it... without me she wouldn't even have a blog, so this has got failure written all over it. I suppose I should just let her have her fun as long as she stops pillaging my blog posts for ideas and gives me my dinner on time. By the way, if you sign up to follow her or subscribe to e-mail alerts, she told me I can send you a grasshopper (if a leg or two is missing, it might be because I played with it first.) Here's the link...

Yahoo Contributor

Also, if any of you would like to write for Yahoo, click on the following link and you too will soon be on your way to earning pennies a day!

In other news, I came in 3rd place in my neighborhood's pet costume contest. There were lots of fancy store bought costumes, but somehow I managed to edge most of them out with this...

I'm a bag of dog food.

How embarrassing:(

Tankgate

2011-10-03T18:17:00.000-05:00

For some ill conceived reason I'll never fully

understand, my asst. decided to start confining

me to the laundry room when she leaves the house

for any length of time.

Enter Houdini...

I've discovered that I can get through any

obstacle. She started with the typical baby

gate which was a piece of cake... a couple of

swift swipes with my paw and the gate was

laying on the floor. The next day she adjusted

it and was sure that it would keep me in... hah.

I jumped over it!

She was obviously surprised, but she doesn't

give in easily. Next thing I knew, she had the

OG installing a much taller gate. It was metal

with vertical slats. They discussed whether I

might get my head stuck in between the slats...

but finally decided it was a chance worth taking.

What the ????

my cell
(but I'm innocent Your Honor!!)

This is what I heard the OG saying while

explaining to my asst. how to operate the new
32" high gate...

"Press down on these two buttons while also

pressing down on this handle... oh, and you

have to be humming Yankee Doodle Dandy!"

Okay, I made up that last part.

So she locks me up earlier today, gives me a

kong filled with peanut butter and says she'll

be back soon.

When she got back home a couple of hours

later, I greeted her at the door and gave her
a piece of my mind (wish you could have
seen the look on her face! I think I saw
fear in her eyes.) BOL

Tank 3

Gate 0

Another sad day to remember...

2011-09-12T14:44:00.000-05:00

Exactly one year ago today,

I was attacked by a crazy dog who has yet to be apprehended.

crazy dog

He has never paid for his crime and remains a
fugitive from justice. In fact, he could still be
attacking innocent dogs spreading pain and
anguish wherever he goes.

pain and anguish

Please warn your furiends to be on the lookout for
this dangerous animal. A generous reward fund that
has just recently reached $5.43 will be paid to anyone
who has information on his whereabouts.

2011-09-11T07:37:00.003-05:00

Hello? Is this the Hilton Hotel?

2011-09-08T13:46:00.001-05:00

I'm not a furkid.
I don't have a mama or daddy like a lot of you.
I have a lazy assistant and an old guy.

Before I came to live here, I had my own special door.
I could come and go as I pleased.
But those days are long gone.
Now I have to have someone let me out,
but getting their attention is sometimes impossible.
Or, are they just ignoring me??

Please let me out.

I want to hunt for dried worms, frogs and bugs.

Helloooooo... I'm waiting.

Still waiting...

I need a concierge.

Carpe Diem

2011-09-01T18:50:00.000-05:00

Okay, so who needs a date to Pawm?

Hawt Lhasa Apso available for a limited time.
Don't miss out.

Here's my post, Pedigree!

2011-08-31T11:51:00.003-05:00

Dear Pedigree Foundation,

My name is Tank. I have all the food I need

(or so I'm told.)

However, there are doggies who sometimes go

to sleep hungry. Through no fault of their own, they

are living in homeless shelters where food is often

in short supply. Thank you for providing donations

to help fill their tummies.

The Pedigree Foundation is a nonprofit organization committed to helping dogs by providing grants to shelters and rescues and encouraging dog adoption.
See
boccibeefs.blogspot.com/2011/08/pedigrees-write-post-help-dog-2011.html
if you'd like to participate.

2011-08-26T14:48:00.001-05:00

Meet Linus!

He's a doggy waiting for his furever home.
S.A.R.G. is caring for him until that happens.
Linus is also waiting for Pumpkin Fest and hoping
(of course)
to see THE GREAT PUMPKIN!
Would you like to help Linus and his pals?

Checkers has invited all of us to be a part of

PUMPKIN FEST

in Oak Ridge, TN

If you are kind enough to donate even $1.00, you will get your picture on a banner that will be on display at the Shelter Animals Rescue Group (S.A.R.G.) tent!

All you have to do is go to
this website
PUMPKIN FEST
and make a donation of $1 or more...
(click on "free" or "activities" and then
"pet costume" for donation button)
then send your picture (300 dpi) to
info@revitalizeoakridge.org
deadline for pics is 9/15

THE GREAT PUMPKIN has promised to visit Linus on Halloween night if you participate in
PUMPKIN FEST
Please help his dream come true!

ALL OF YOUR DONATIONS WILL GO TO THE
SHELTER ANIMALS RESCUE GROUP
Thanks Dawgs
Please share this info with all your furiends!!!

"There are three things I have learned never to discuss
with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin."
Linus van Pelt

grab the tissues...

2011-08-25T15:25:00.004-05:00

read story and see video by clicking on the following link...

Loyal Dog Mourns, Lays at Casket of Fallen Navy Seal - The Daily Treat: Animal Planet

very bad day

2011-08-24T13:27:00.000-05:00

You totally will NOT believe this!

It's ridiculous.

Never in a million years would you ever guess...

EVER!

Are you sitting down? I hope so because this is a doozy.

My hawtness has come into question.

I know, I know... you're thinking "Tank, that's just

the most outrageous thing I've ever heard in my life!"

I KNOW!

But those pesky Canadians are spreading rumors that they're actually hawter than me. Yes, these are the same dawgs who recently sent Mounties after me, but thanks
to a little help from some goldendoodles in Utah, the Mounties took a wrong turn and haven't been seen since.

FOREVER HAWT

Now, about those doodles in Utah...
I just found out that their food bowls are never empty. NEVER!
They're allowed to eat ALL day whenever they want.

In contrast, my bowl is always empty except for 5 seconds in the morning and 5 seconds in the evening. That's how long it takes to eat the measly portions my asst. gives me. Am I the only doggy who is being treated like this???

It just keeps getting worse...
the Canadians have run out of water (neener, neener, neener back at ya) but they also have food available at all times. I'm being hideously mistreated, abused and neglected. I want JUSTICE.

JUSTICE FOR TANK
(please cross post)

P.S. There's been talk of invading North Dakota. Please indicate in a comment if you're interested in this fun little end of summer adventure.

dog-speak

2011-08-22T07:21:00.000-05:00

My assistant doesn't speak or write Dog language and I don't speak or write in any People languages, but through the magic of the internet, this blog can be read and understood by anyone.

You see, the internet is capable of inter-species translation.

Freaky, I know.

The following would be typical conversations between me and my assistant on any given day if we both spoke the same language...

8:00 AM

Me "It's time for my breakfast."

Her "You already ate."

Me "No I haven't."

Her "Yes you have."

Me "You're kidding, right?"

Her "No, I'm not kidding."

Me "I wouldn't be sitting here begging for food if you had

already given me my breakfast."

Her "Yes you would. You're always begging for food."

Me "Seriously? I can't believe we're having this

conversation."

Her "Well, we seem to have it several times every day."
Me "I'm about to pass out from lack of nourishment and you're being mean."

8:15 AM
Me "Can I have my breakfast now?"

Her "I told you that you already ate."

Me "No I haven't."

Her "Yes you have."

Me "I think I would remember if I had eaten."

Her "No you wouldn't."

Me "Not true!"

Her "You never do."

Me "I'm feeling dizzy and light-headed."

Her "Maybe you should go lie down."

Me "I hope I don't pass out before I get to my bed."

8:30 AM

Me "Will you feed me now?"

Her "You already ate."

Me "No I haven't."

Her "Yes you have."

Me "I'm sorry, but you're mistaken."

Her "No, I'm not."

Me "I haven't eaten since yesterday."

Her "You've already had your breakfast."

Me "My tummy is growling and I have no energy."

Her "Too bad."

Me "I think I'm dying."

8:45 AM

Me "There's nothing in this bowl."

Her "You already ate."

Me "No I haven't."

Her "Yes you have."

Me "I know for a fact that my bowl has not had food in it

today."

Her "You sound like a broken record."

Me "I'm hungry now."

Her "omg"

2011-08-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

Kylie told me there might be a goody bag

in my future if I put this

on my blog today.

I'll be waiting by the mail box Kylie...

oh,

and Happy Birthday Jimmy!

Paradise

2011-08-12T09:35:00.002-05:00

This is my local version of Dog Beach in California.

Just look at the pristine sandy beach

and the crystal clear water!

Hey doggies... wassup?

(doggie small talk)

There's WHAT in this water???

WooHoo! I'm gonna stink really bad!

For those of you unfamiliar with pond etiquette...
after you've gotten totally wet and disgusting from
the gross brown water, roll around in the dirt to make
sure that you're as filthy as possible. This will provide
delightful memories for both you and your assistant!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUGAR!

2011-08-10T09:17:00.000-05:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

☺
Smile for Sugar

Give peace a chance*

2011-08-06T14:40:00.004-05:00

A hastily brokered peace accord was reached last

night between warring Canadian and US doggies.

I'm sure this is great news for our President who

really didn't need to add a war with Canada to his

already full plate. Following are the key details

of this important event as it played out on
facebook:

Canadian doggy mama... "let's call a truce"

My assistant... "okay"

I'm sending that entire transcript to

the House of Representatives and the Senate.

Hopefully they will read it, study it and

forever remember it as a shining example of

diplomatic acumen.

Eh?

*John Lennon

Canada declares WAR

2011-08-04T10:10:00.002-05:00

I'm sure most of you think of Canadians as peace loving

pacifists. You would be wrong. Canadian doggies have

declared war on me for absolutely NO reason. I was just

minding my own business and POOF! out of the blue I

find out that they're trying to take over the world and I'm

their first target! I need for all of you to "like" me on FB

if you don't already. This will show the Canadian thugs

that they can't mess with the USA or its doggies!

(just click on "like" on my sidebar)

I hope I can count on you. If you're not on FB, then have

your peeps sign you up...

tell them you HAVE to "like" TANK!

It's a matter of national security!

God bless America!

On a lighter note...
I'm wet and drippy from the rain, but just took a walk in a
***delightful***
74 degrees!!!

USA USA USA

still bacon

2011-08-02T16:35:00.001-05:00

(uh... that should be baking)
Remember my last post?

I complained about the weather... you know,

about how hot it's been.

Well, I shouldn't have complained.

It's gotten worse.

Right now it is 109 degrees outside.
I don't think this is normal.

Just out of curiosity, how hot can it actually get?

Does anyone know??

Do dogs self-combust at a certain temperature?

(If the answer to this is 109, please let me know ASAP)

woof...

2011-07-20T15:32:00.000-05:00

Sorry dawgs, but my little pea brain is fried
from these temps lately. After reading your
blogs, I only have enough energy to "woof."

I know I'm not alone, but take a look at
what the weather has been like here...

LAST WEEK:
VERY HOT

MONDAY:
REALLY HOT

TUESDAY:
SUPER HOT

TODAY:
RIDICULOUSLY HOT

now check out the forecast...

TOMORROW:
EXTREMELY HOT

WEDNESDAY:
UNBEARABLY HOT

THURSDAY:
DANGEROUSLY HOT

FRIDAY:
WICKEDLY HOT

SATURDAY:
SMOKING HOT

SUNDAY
THIS MUST BE WHAT HELL IS LIKE HOT

My routine has been turned upside down...
I've been taking walks in the dark!
Did I really complain about winter?!!!

PeeS: If it's 68 degrees (or less) where you live,
and you'd like an out of town guest indefinitely,
please let me know.

Doggie Lama seeks help...

2011-07-16T12:45:00.000-05:00

Now that I follow the teachings of Buddha,

I know that I may have had a past life as

something other than a dog.

This is known as reincarnation.

The possibilities are endless...

but what if I was a

s q u i r r e l?

I've been struggling with this thought for days...
no ~~appetite~~ ~~little~~ ~~appetite~~ my appetite is fine,
~~nightmares~~ ~~trouble~~ ~~sleeping~~ I sleep fine,
but I keep thinking about my hawt
Lhasa face on a squirrel's body.

"omd"
(a very depressed doggie lama)

HOW YOU CAN HELP
By sending him $128.50, you will ease the Doggie Lama's
fears of having possibly been a rodent in a former life.
Money-back guarantee!!!
If the Doggie Lama doesn't snap out of it within
7 days, he will refund the entire amount!*
*minus $128.50 for processing and handling

Lesson 3

2011-07-01T12:41:00.001-05:00

"Help others and you help yourself."
The Doggie Lama

(picture from the archives)

Here's an easy way to get some great

KARMA...

Go to the following facebook page
and click "like"
DOG BLESS YOU

You'll be helping a returning Veteran with PTSD
get a service dog!!!

PeeS: There will be no crass solicitations today in
honor of our upcoming Independence Day... however,
if you'd like to send me $128.50 just for the heck of it,
it would be a nice way to celebrate FREEDOM!
God Bless America

Lesson 2

2011-06-27T14:28:00.000-05:00

"It's better to eat one cookie than to curse the darkness."

The Doggie Lama

darkness

Sometimes you might find yourself wandering around

in the middle of the night. Maybe you've got a giant

tick sucking your blood or fleas have decided to move

into your armpits or maybe you just can't stop thinking

about that tree rat that you almost had earlier in the day.

Whatever the reason, you're finding it hard to sleep
and the darkness is starting to freak you out.

1) Don't curse the darkness.
I've tried that and it doesn't do any good.
2) Don't wake up your humans.
They'll be grouchy and unpleasant.

The best way to pass the time during

sleepless nights is by eating cookies.

I've tested this theory and it's 100% effective!

The cookies take your mind off of everything

else including the fact that you're a dog with

insomnia... which, let's face it, is pretty weird.

For your very own copy of my new book
HOW TO FIND COOKIES IN THE DARK
send $128.50 right away.

Quantities are limited.

with love from the Doggie Lama

Lesson 1

2011-06-20T10:23:00.008-05:00

"It's okay to hate squirrels"... The Doggie Lama

Okay, so I'm not as enlightened as I thought.
I was perfectly fine and enjoying my usual
foray through my forest when some squirrels
started to taunt me. Three to be exact... when
their beady little rodent eyes met mine, they
scoffed at my doggie holiness and dared me
to chase them. Instinct kicked in and I ran as
fast as I possibly could... until I got to the end
of my 6' leash. Then the mocking began in
earnest. They squealed with evil laughter and
then started rolling around on the ground in a
state of euphoric glee.

No amount of meditating on my part could
possibly allow me to make peace with these
animals.

To all of you who have purchased my guide
to enlightenment for $128.50, don't worry...
no, you will not get a refund, however you
can rest assured that the money will be well
spent on high tech weaponry and smart bombs.

My new book explains how I have reconciled
my longing for world peace with my hatred of
s q u i r r e l s.

For your own copy, just send $128. 50.
FREE SHIPPING THIS WEEK ONLY

with love from the Doggie Lama

New name

2011-06-11T14:23:00.003-05:00

As most of you know, I am a hawt Lhasa Apso.

My new name, Tankzen Gyatso, better reflects
my Tibetan roots. As my loyal followers, you may
just refer to me as "His Holiness."

My ancestors lived in Lhasa, Tibet and were
responsible for guarding The Dalai Lama.
Although he's been in exile in India for many years,
he's still considered the country's spiritual leader.
Widely respected, he's viewed as a peace loving
teacher of ancient Buddhist wisdom. I took the
name "Gyatso" to honor him.

By virtue of my Lhasa Apsoness, I possess the
total enlightenment of which the Dalai Lama speaks.

It's true.
While the rest of you still suffer from common
complaints like squirrels in your yard,
meditation
has brought me complete peace and contentment.

Oh, I know what you're thinking...
"Your Holiness, how is it that squirrels don't bother
you anymore??"

I'm glad you asked because you too can learn
how to achieve this perfect state of consciousness.
All you have to do is send me
$128.50
and I will share with you the
secret to total happiness.

Even if you can't afford this paltry sum in exchange
for my life-changing wisdom,
I invite you to continue to follow me on my new blog...

His Holiness The Doggie Lama
where East meets Midwest

hot doggie

2011-06-09T12:58:00.004-05:00

While I've been waiting for it to either cool off or for
a swimming pool to magically appear in my backyard,
I've been thinking...

that I might like to change my name.

Until a new name is chosen, I would like to be known as

"The dog formerly known as Tank."

You may also just use this symbol

PeeS: I'm open to suggestions if you have any...
except for "Chuck."

Freeloaders

2011-05-30T08:09:00.002-05:00

I've had some unexpected visitors lately...

Mr. Turtle

Ms. Turkey

Mr. Tree Frog

I think you are all supposed to be living down
by the creek... well, I'm not sure about you Ms.
Turkey. You should probably be in a grocery
store. Ask for the frozen foods manager.

Mr. Turtle and Mr. Frog -
if you insist on coming to higher ground to
live, be aware that you will need to pay
HOA fees just like the rest of us.
Oh, and the pool is off limits!

If I can't swim in it, neither can you!!!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

God Bless our Canine Troops
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

PeeS:

There's a seriously hawt doggy at
Coffee with a Canine
today!

2011-05-26T00:24:00.004-05:00

Many thanks to all of you who have joined

Project Toto!!!

Ann of Zoolatry

made this awesome badge to help spread the message...

THANK YOU ANN!

(please feel free to repost)

When you send a blanket, you earn this cute badge
for your blog which was also designed by Ann.
There are 3 sizes... this is the medium. If you'd
rather have the large or small, just let
me know and I'll send to you.

Someone has created a wish list for the shelter
on Amazon... there are many items listed
besides blankets. If you would like to
look it over and possibly help them
out with other things, click here.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

(To donate money to JHS click here)

Project Toto

2011-05-25T12:12:00.004-05:00

My asst. will be gathering fleece blankets to

send to the Joplin shelter animals... from what we've

read they have enough food for now, but have

requested blankets. She wants me to invite all

of you to join in and send a blanket to the

Joplin Humane Society

Animal Adoption and Resource Center

140 E Emperor Lane

Joplin, MO 64801

Everyone who participates will receive a special

♥♥♥PROJECT TOTO♥♥♥

badge to proudly display on your blog!

A soft blankie makes everything better:)

Thank You!!!

2011-05-24T12:38:00.002-05:00

The list of displaced animals in Joplin is getting
longer and longer... some of them are injured
and need medical care.

If you would like to help, you can donate to the
Joplin Humane Society. Just click here.

A "Donate" button will be on the top right
corner of the screen.

Please help.

My assistant says that she will match every
$10.00 donation that my bloggy pals make.
Come on... we can make a difference!

so very sad...

2011-05-23T13:50:00.002-05:00

Found, brought to the Joplin Humane Society.

Found, but I miss my family.

Found, hoping I can go home soon.

Found, but I hurt my leg.

Found, but where's my mommy?

Lost - answers to "Marley"

Found wearing a brown dog bone collar

Animals lost and found from the Joplin, MO tornado
facebook page

We need to help.

h e l p

2011-05-18T09:28:00.001-05:00

There are 2 dogs in my neighborhood who want to kill me. They're big dogs. Scary dogs. Every time they see me, they go totally postal. They start growling and barking and trying to break free from their person who is also scary. He always wears a hooded sweatshirt jacket regardless of the weather... and the hood is always up (think Unabomber.)

My asst. tries to duck behind something when she sees them coming, but they know I'm there. We passed them twice this morning and the 2nd time my asst. picked me up and went the opposite direction... when she turned around to look, their person had them pinned to the pavement.

It took everything he had to keep them from getting loose.

OMD

cute, innocent little doggy

So the creep who whacked my knee is still out there, plus I've got these 2 goons after me... not to mention the gang of 3 who attacked me at the school yard and bit part of my ear off... OMD

Why does this keep happening to me?

not gonna happen...

2011-05-16T05:46:00.000-05:00

I've been told that to become a mentally balanced dog,

I have to obey commands.

~~What~~ a ~~load~~ of ~~crap~~.
Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?

Rumors not true... any of them

2011-05-13T15:49:00.000-05:00

DOGS! Listen up!!
The squirrels must be mad about the rash of killings
in the last week...
they're fighting back!!

One of them broke into my house and peed
on the carpet and now I'm being blamed for it!
AND because of this,
my asst. is convinced that I have "behavior issues."
She says I'm...
I'm...
OMD
She says I'm mentally unbalanced.
ME!

I swear to you I'm innocent.

It's the SQUIRRELS!

But my asst. doesn't believe me and I think she's angry...

Hey! Don't aim that thing at me!!!
OMD

Flashback

2011-05-10T10:32:00.000-05:00

Hey doggies!

I'm tired of trying to be retired

(and with all the exciting posts about murder
and mayhem, I can't seem to stay away.)

I also saw a contest going on at

Reilly's blog

that I can't resist entering.

I LOVE SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get to do it very often, but here

are some pictures of me in action
(by the way, here's a fun fact for you...
Beethoven was swimming on a very
hot day when the music to "Ode to Joy"
came to him. He quickly penned it on a
paper napkin from a nearby Taco Bell.)

Here I go!

Note that I'm by myself in the pool...

the other doggies were all CHICKEN.

Great form, if I do say so myself.

Ahhh... life is good!

Unfortunately, as some of you may remember,
there was a doggy who was very jealous of
my superior swimming skills.

This particular dog
was so envious that he
attacked me from behind...

which led to this pitiful sight:(

Good news is that I'm all better!
Bad news is that the dog who took me
down has never been apprehended.
Please be on the look-out for this
fugitive from justice.

We're under a heat alert here today,
(what happened to Spring???)
so a swim in a nice cool pool
would be excellent!
Maybe I'll invite Ludwig to join me...

PeeS: I know he's dead, but he can join me in spirit.
PeePeeS: I'm pretty sure he was NOT killed by a doxie.
(anybody know for sure?)

2011-05-09T09:18:00.001-05:00

I hereby bequeath honorary membership in the

Operation Whack-A-Squirrel Army
to

PUDDLES DUDDLES RAINWATER

in recognition and appreciation of

single-pawedly planning and executing

a covert and dangerous squirrel mission.
Without regard for personal safety, she
attacked and killed what was probably one of
the main instigators of the great squirrel uprising
of 2009 which led to the formation of the
OWAS Army.

As Commander of OWAS,
I also award you the coveted

The world is a little safer today.

Congratulations P Doggy!

For P Doggy

2011-04-29T11:08:00.001-05:00

from the facebook page...
"For those who can't stand STOOPID people."
Feel free to share.

2011-04-17T18:05:00.002-05:00

hey

it's tank

remember me?

here's a pic

does this face look at all familiar?

oh come on! i haven't been gone that long!!!

well never mind

i just heard one of my favorite little pals is very sick

please get well soon

♥twink♥

2011-04-04T21:29:00.005-05:00

RIP

TANK'S TWO CENTS

Sept. 2008 - April 2011

In lieu of biscuits or bones,

please support your local animal shelter.

Don't worry about me... I'll be in my forest
keeping an eye on the squirrels.
Woof, Tank

PeeS:
May you have a nice, long walk every day with
someone you love
♡
and may your cookies be filled with peanut butter
or cheese... or both!

FIONA!

2011-03-18T00:02:00.006-05:00

You're the winner of the raffle for a PetSmart Gift Card!

#14 (random.org)
There once was a dog nicknamed 'Muffin-head',
Who sprawled all over the bed.
She'd take the best spot,
For her mother's sleep she cared not,
While the dog herself slept like the dead.
CONGRATULATIONS!

A $50 donation will be made to World Vets
on behalf of everyone who wrote a limerick.

THANK YOU!

Paws for Japan

2011-03-17T00:51:00.007-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Thanks to those of you who have tried your paw at writing a limerick. My asst. has decided to donate $2 per limerick or $50 (whichever is greater) to World Vets. She's seen some of the videos and says the situation in Japan is heart-breaking.

Limericks can be submitted until midnight tonight via comment. The winner of the PetSmart gift card will be announced tomorrow.

If you'd like to make your own donation, just click here to be taken to the World Vets website. Woof, Tank

PeeS: Originally we were going to split the donation with a local shelter, but my asst. says we'll give them something at a later date. I let her handle the finances. It makes her feel useful and to be perfectly honest, she counts better than me.

You're Invited

2011-03-14T14:57:00.009-05:00

TANK'S 2ND ANNUAL

LIMERICK PARTY

♣

There once was a pretty dog

Envied by an ugly hog.

You're not so hawt

The porker thought

while venting on his blog.

BOL

(but I am HAWT, fur sure)

♣

For each limerick submitted,

my asst. will send $2.00 to

World Vets
an organization that will
help animals in Japan.

♣

There will also be a raffle

for a PetSmart gift card...

you'll be entered once for

each limerick you submit.

♣

Enter early and often!

♣

Limericks accepted through St. Patrick's Day.

♣
PeeS: No bonus points for dirty
limericks so let's keep it clean.
BOL

WIENER DOGS=DANGEROUS BREED

2011-03-09T08:54:00.006-06:00

(this does not surprise me)

The following is paraphrased from the Kansas City Star
March 9, 2011:

IN THE CASE OF THE FLYING WIENER DOG,
FAN SAYS HE GOT EYEFUL

Did a wiener dog, flung from the paw of Kansas City Royals' mascot Sluggerrr, cause serious and lasting injury to the left eye of baseball fan John Coomer at a night game on Sept. 8, 2009?

In his lawsuit, Coomer said that Sluggerrr attempted to heave the wiener into the stands with a behind-the-back throw. Instead of placing the dog in a high arch, Sluggerrr lost control and threw it right into Coomer's eye, the suit alleged.

Lawyers, who entered a wiener dog into evidence Tuesday, expect the trial to last into Thursday.

Sluggerrr
************************

I've gotten to "know" several wiener dogs
since I've been blogging. I have absolutely
no doubt that Sluggerrr has been unjustly
accused of this crime. In fact, it's my
contention that the wiener dog in
question purposely adjusted its
trajectory to hit Mr. Coomer in
his eye.
Woof,Tank

If you've got it... Part 2

2011-03-06T11:04:00.002-06:00

Hey dawgs, you've heard of "bedhead," right?

It's unruly, unkempt fur upon getting out of bed.

I now give you bedface...

BOL

Doesn't matter...

not one tiny bit.

Wanna know why?

I'm still pretty!
♧♧♧♧♧
BOL
♧♧♧♧♧

If you've got it... flaunt it

2011-03-02T17:52:00.001-06:00

♪ ♪ ♫

I feel pretty
♪ ♪ ♫
Oh so pretty

♪ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♪
I feel pretty and witty and bright

♪ ♪ ♫

And I pity
♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
Any girl who isn't me tonight...

Admit it...
I totally look better than any of you girl dogs.
BOL

no more funk

2011-02-25T16:16:00.000-06:00

Hey dawgs, it's me Tank!

The crappy weather this week has forced me to
read the newspaper to amuse myself. After the
funnies, I like to see what the local news is about.
Apparently, the mayor of Kansas City lost his bid
for re-election this week. Gee, what a shame.
NOT!

I know what you're thinking...

"Tank, you're a freakin' dawg, what do you care?"

Well, I don't care about the KC mayor.
Or any other politician.

I like the fairy tale dog blog world in which there are

no politicians...

we just do our own thing without some dawg
full of hot air trying to be in charge all the time.
Hmmm...

On a totally unrelated topic...
do you think I need a haircut?

from the Sunday paper...

2011-02-13T09:55:00.002-06:00

VALENTINE WANTED:
very hawt Lhasa Apso named Tank

looking for equally hawt girl doggie to share
~~one~~ ~~night~~ ~~stand~~
L♥VE

and treats on Valentines Day.

Tank... very hawt!

2011-02-11T12:44:00.007-06:00

I'm at the "home."

Gonna visit Grandma.

Finally I get a walk that doesn't include
snow, ice and frigid temps!

This is Grandma teasing me.

It's sit or shake Granny... that's all I got.
Now hand over the treat and nobody 'll get hurt!!!

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

2011-02-08T09:46:00.001-06:00

This morning...

2 degrees

My asst. won't take me for a walk.

She keeps yelling at me...

GO POO!

GO POO!!

GO POO!!!

WOULD YOU JUST #@$#$@# GO POO!

I can't poo when somebody is yelling at me.

It's very stressful (and constipating.)

**************************

Dear Old Man Winter,

DIE ALREADY.

Sincerely yours,

Tank

Pip pip hurrah!

2011-01-31T16:56:00.002-06:00

MR. PIP

YOU CAN DO IT

Yes, it will ~~most~~ ~~likely~~ definitely take

DIVINE INTERVENTION

but

WE HAVE FAITH

and

WE BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

(sponsored by Pip's fan club

2 million and counting...)

DOODS!

2011-01-27T17:27:00.001-06:00

GOOD GRIEF DAWGS...

YOU JUST WON'T BELIEVE MY LUCK!

I GOT ANOTHER PACKAGE!!!

It's a huge box from those wild and crazy

goldendoodles in Utah
Fiona and Abby.

OK, let's see what we've got here...

a letter... a very long letter hmmm

hmmmm, hmmmmm, hahaha, hmmmm hehehe,

too funny! Fiona says their squirrels go to the

Bahamas for the winter. Shouldn't we dogs

be smarter than the squirrels?

ohmygosh

would you take a look at this!!!!!!!

ACK...SQUIRRELS!

Fiona said she sent one "regular" squirrel

and one "road-kill" squirrel to help keep me

focused during the long winter months.

BOL

What have we here? Smells delish. Think I'll

try one. It's big (whoa, it's huge & she didn't

say I could have it) maybe I'll just slowly walk

away and maybe she won't notice that I'm

carrying this ginormous sweet potato treat

in my mouth...

very very slowly I'm taking it to a safe spot

so that if I'm caught, she won't be able to

get to me... easy does it

okay, I should be safe under this table...

oh, this is tasty. really yummy:) love this!

this is one of the best things I've ever eaten

in my entire life... REALLY!

Why have I never been given a sweet

potato treat before now? WHY?

I think I'll go back and try to grab another...

I just can't believe ALL this stuff is mine!!!

THANK YOU FIONA AND ABBY!

YOU'RE AWESOME!!

PeeS: My other package came from my wonderful Aunt Jane in NC. I can't believe none of you guessed correctly.

BOL

♡

2011-01-21T09:36:00.001-06:00

I got this package in the mail.

Wondering what it could possibly be...

I wasn't expecting anything.

It smells delightful... could it be? Do you think?

Y*E*S!
COOKIES!!!COOKIES!!!COOKIES!!!

mmmmmmm... peanut butter
plus...

a stuffie that makes kissy sounds.....BOL

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{{{SMACK}}}
♡
somebody loves me:)
Can you guess who?

Survivor

2011-01-15T20:03:00.004-06:00

Yes, I survived the snowbank. Thanks to those who were worried and sent inquiries... all two of you. You might think this lack of concern made me sad, but you would be wrong. I'm sure the rest of you had faith in my ability to get out of that harrowing situation (ALTHOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE OF YOU TO AT LEAST SEND A STINKIN' NOTE AFTER NOT HEARING FROM ME IN FIVE DAYS!) Oops, I guess I shouldn't have yelled. Sorry. Back to the snowbank... it only took a few hours to thaw out after clawing and crawling my way out of that monster death trap. It was a close call, but I did survive.

This next topic begins with a loaded question.

I'm scared to ask it, but I have to find out.

WHAT AM I?

You see, I just found out recently that I'm not a dog. I was perusing the categories in Mango Minster and honestly, I didn't fit into any of them. Last year I won Reader's Choice 1st Place Athletic Sporty Dog... see for yourself here. But this year, the categories are different and I read them over and over, but none of them describe me. Mango said and I quote "If you don't see yourself in one of those groups then, frankly, I must question whether you are an actual doggie.." OMD. A strange little scream came from deep in my throat when I read that. My bad leggy began to throb and shake and I had to go lie down in my bed for a very long time...

IF I'M NOT A DOG! WHAT AM I?

You can surely understand now why I was afraid to ask... but yet I have to find out. I've been eating dog food for seven long years. I have a dog leash attached to my collar every time I'm taken outside. I go to the VET for dog vaccinations.

And now I find out I'M NOT A DOG!

OMD!

what could i be?

Whoa

2011-01-10T13:14:00.000-06:00

Kimosabe, which way?

Hmmm...

How bout this way?

No, this way.

OH NO!

Is Tank trapped in a massive drift of snow?!!

Will he survive to see another day?!!